In Search of the Archetype of Transformation

Basically, this is what you have to go through when you’re changing, and what you will likely experience when it happens. (At this point, I emphasize that learning something important is not always a pleasant process…)

Let’s go with an example.

Maybe you’ve recently ended a relationship and were seriously hurt.

Perhaps it was because you were dating an idiot, or maybe because you yourself are not very developed.

(Whichever the case, without a doubt, you are trying to figure out which of these hypotheses applies to you while you reflect on the relationship.)

Generally, when people are moving toward a purpose and something unexpected happens — something that destroys all their plans, their vision, their reach — they fall hard.

That’s because something happened that they don’t understand and couldn’t have predicted… perhaps something within their own behavior.

Well, what happens is that your current model of yourself, or maybe your view of the world, has proven to be inaccurate or inadequate.

And that bothers you a lot.

When this occurs, you feel drained for a while — unmotivated, sometimes depressed, certainly anxious, because you have collapsed, without knowing which direction to move next…

At this point, if you’re lucky, you’ll be able to reflect on what happened, understand what you’re going through, and externalize your emotions, whether by talking to friends or a therapist.

And this helps you rebuild yourself, feel better.

When this phase passes, you emerge on the other side a little smarter, a little stronger than you were before everything fell apart…

But if you’re unlucky, depression hits you full force, making you refuse help.

You might shut yourself away, lock yourself indoors for a very, very long time — and that is not good.

So, you see, the process of transformation is very dangerous because it does not have to end successfully.

But this process follows a pattern, and that pattern is usually that you think you know what you’re doing, and then something happens to prove that you really don’t.

And this throws you into a vicious cycle, back to rock bottom.

Finally, through careful analysis, support groups, and discussions with friends, you begin to incorporate this chaotic, unexpected knowledge that has hit you.

Through this, you rebuild your personality and your representations of the world.

And then, hopefully, you develop into something better than you were before…